"Apple Reports Second Quarter Results: Record March Quarter Sales of iPhones, iPads and Macs/Net Profit Increases 94% Year-over-Year" ["The Company sold 35.1 million iPhones in the quarter, representing 88 percent unit growth over the year-ago quarter. Apple sold 11.8 million iPads during the quarter, a 151 percent unit increase over the year-ago quarter. The Company sold 4 million Macs during the quarter, a 7 percent unit increase over the year-ago quarter. Apple sold 7.7 million iPods, a 15 percent unit decline from the year-ago quarter."] Apple 3:46 PM
"Apple Reports Second Quarter Results: Record March Quarter Sales of iPhones, iPads and Macs/Apple® today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 second quarter ended March 31, 2012. The Company posted quarterly revenue of $39.2 billion and quarterly net profit of $11.6 billion, or $12.30 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $24.7 billion and net profit of $6.0 billion, or $6.40 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. Gross margin was 47.4 percent compared to 41.4 percent in the year-ago quarter. International sales accounted for 64 percent of the quarter's revenue." Business Wire 3:35 PM
"Apple's profit nearly doubles: offset recent drops in U.S. orders. The earnings report sent Apple shares up 7.31% to $601, erasing part of a weeks-long decline." Los Angeles Times [Paid Membership Required] 9:17 PM
"Strong iPhone sales overshadow new iPad in Apple earnings: Apple turned in better than expected earnings today, posting record sales of the iPhone and iPad." CNET News 4:30 PM
"Apple Earnings: That's a Blowout" WSJ Blogs 3:55 PM
"Apple doubles quarterly profits to $11.6bn (£7.2bn)" BBC 4:57 PM
"Apple's Huge Quarter in Charts" ReadWriteWeb 8:25 PM
"Apple: we could settle patent fights if others would 'invent their own stuff'" Ars Technica 8:26 PM
"Apple's iPhone Sales In China Are Up By Fivefold From A Year Ago" TechCrunch 4:23 PM
"Apple Stores Continue To Be A Juggernaut, With $4.4B In Revenue, 85M Visitors To Stores In Q2" TechCrunch 4:38 PM
"Apple's $8 Billion Media Business" AllThingsD 8:14 PM
"Apple 2nd quarter earnings: By the numbers/Strong iPhone and iPad sales boosted Apple's results, which are likely to revise the recent selloff of the stock." CNET News 5:00 PM
"Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer: 'The New iPad Is On Fire'" TechCrunch 5:28 PM
"Apple iPhone Crushes Doubts ... For Now" Barron's 7:47 PM
"Apple Earnings: Blowing The Door Off The Hinges" 24/7 Wall St. 4:25 PM
"Apple's iTunes Stores Generates $1.9B In Revenue in Q2, Has 600,000 Apps" TechCrunch 5:28 PM
"Tim Cook Spells Out the Rapid Growth of Apple's iPad" New York Times [Free/Paid Registration Required] 7:45 PM
"Apple CEO on legal spats: I prefer to settle/Tim Cook adds, however, that he doesn't want Apple to 'become the developer for the world.'" CNET News 7:59 PM
"Tim Cook on ongoing Android litigation: 'We'd prefer to settle, not battle'" 9 to 5 Mac 5:00 PM
"Unlike 'Thermonuclear' Steve Jobs, Apple CEO Tim Cook Says He'd Rather 'Settle' Litigation" TechCrunch 5:28 PM
"Cook: Apple Hates Litigation But Others Need to 'Invent Their Own Stuff'" The Mac Observer 5:27 PM
"Apple CEO Tim Cook is 'Thrilled' With Record Quarter" Wall St. Cheat Sheet 4:24 PM
"Apple results give Cook last laugh at critics" The Independent 9:32 PM
"Apple's Q2 2012: $11.6B In Profit, $39.2B In Revenue, 35.1M iPhones Sold" TechCrunch 4:00 PM
"Apple: Total iOS Device Sales Top 365 Million" The Mac Observer 5:01 PM
"New iPad's First Quarter Not a Blowout with 11.8 Million Tablets Sold" AllThingsD 3:57 PM
"Apple CEO Tim Cook Trashes Convertible Computers Touted By Microsoft, Intel" Forbes 7:46 PM
"Apple continues to face supply constraints with new iPad" AppleInsider 8:29 PM
"Apple's US K12 customers snapped up two iPads for every Mac this quarter" AppleInsider 8:29 PM
Apple News
"Apple Wins Discovery Ruling in Samsung Infringement Suit: Apple Inc. won a court determination that Samsung Electronics Co. violated court orders in a patent-infringement case by failing to produce documents referencing Apple features and designs." Bloomberg Businessweek 9:47 PM
"The Two-Horse Smartphone Race: Apple, Samsung Use Different Playbooks in Battle for Supremacy; For Rivals, It's Specialty vs. Scale" WSJ.com [Paid Membership Required] 9:09 AM
"Apple, Samsung Tangle in Smartphone Race: Apple and Samsung have emerged as runaway leaders in the smartphone industry. But they have climbed to the top using very different playbooks. Jessica Vascellaro reports on digits." [Video Report] MarketWatch 1:23 PM
"Contracts With Apple Should Blunt Any Carrier Push-Back on iPhone Subsidies" AllThingsD 7:54 AM
"Apple infringes on Motorola Mobility patent: Apple Inc infringed on a Motorola Mobility Holdings Inc patent in making its popular iPhones, iPads and other products, a judge for the International Trade Commission ruled on Tuesday." Reuters 1:24 PM
"Apple settles ebook case in Europe: Here in Europe, ebook price fixing investigations have resulted in Apple offering to settle" Macworld UK 8:26 AM
"Samsung filed its defenses against Apple's second U.S. preliminary injunction motion" Foss Patents 8:36 AM
"China Official Says Proview Owns IPad Trademark" Associated Press 10:15 AM
"Chinese official sides with Proview in iPad trademark dispute" Reuters 8:18 AM
"iCloud Now Has Over 125 Million Members" The Mac Observer 4:24 PM
"One in five Mac computers carry Windows malware but only 2.7% harbor Mac OS X malware: Sophos" The Next Web 8:24 AM
"Macs More Likely to Carry Windows Malware Than Mac Malware, Study Finds" IDG News Service 12:07 PM
"Infosec: One In Five Macs Is Infected With Windows Malware/One in thirty-six Macs harbours OS X-specific malware while one in five features at least one Windows virus or Trojan" TechWeekEurope 8:45 AM
"A fifth of Macs 'contain malware'" TG Daily 8:22 AM
"New version of Flashback eludes Apple's XProtect: No password required for new variant which bypasses Apple's detection tools" Macworld UK 8:27 AM
"Another Mac Flashback variant out, but still uses same (patched) vulnerability" TUAW 3:53 PM
"Trend Micro: OS/X has the most vulnerabilities" Stuff: New Zealand 12:03 PM
"Fourth Beta Version of Mac OS X 10.7.4 Seeded" HardMac 8:36 AM
"Apple Seeds Fourth OS X 10.7.4 Build, Lists No Known Issues" The Mac Observer 12:00 PM
AppleCare/Troubleshooting
"How to manage file-in-use errors for OS X applications upgrades: While there are several approaches to managing 'in-use' errors in OS X, you can often make use of the Trash to temporarily store these files so as not to disturb your workflow." MacFixIt 12:27 PM
"Lion Server: Pointing clients to a Software Update Server" Apple Support 8:25 PM
Reviews/How-To/Tips
"Google Drive: It's slick, integrated...and not exactly free/The online file storage and sync service is more than just a Dropbox and SkyDrive competitor. Because it can cost users real money, it makes us into customers, not just eyeballs for advertisers." CNET News 12:07 PM
"Google Drive Goes for a Spin [Hands-On] Mashable 2:33 PM
"Google Drive preview: an in-depth look at features and functionality" Engadget 8:18 PM
"Hands on with Google Drive (Review)" ZDNet 8:25 PM
"Automatically encrypt files for your Google Drive" Macworld 1:21 PM
"SkyDrive vs iCloud vs Dropbox: Which Is The Best Cloud Storage / Backup Service That You Should Use?" Redmond Pie 8:41 AM
"Review: MacScan - Protect Your Mac from Malware and Privacy Threats" MacTrast 8:29 PM
"Mac Security After Flashback: 5 Key Points/Where does the Apple security situation stand in the wake of the Flashback Trojan outbreak? Consider these important data points." InformationWeek 12:26 PM
"New tracker tool reveals Apple's iOS dominates mobile traffic: Real-time Mobile Dominance Tracker shows majority of US mobile traffic originates from iOS devices" Macworld UK 8:27 AM
"Steve Wozniak Speaks About Apple's Early Days" Macworld UK 7:52 AM
"'Think Different' creator: Apple has right values" [Audio Report] MarketWatch 8:18 AM
"Former Apple Executive Blends Genres with iPad" New York Times [Free/Paid Registration Required] 8:14 AM
"Report: iPads Account for 66% of Mobile Shopping, 90% of Revenue" The Mac Observer 12:57 PM
"iPhone Sales Crush The Competition At AT&T: Apple's iPhone outsold other smartphones nearly 4-to-1 during AT&T's first quarter. The company activated a total of 5.5 million smartphones, boosting smartphone subscribership to nearly 60%." InformationWeek 10:15 AM
"AT&T activates 4.3 million iPhones in Q1 as churn hits its lowest level in five quarters" The Next Web 8:31 AM
"AT&T and Verizon iPhone activations disappoint" CNNMoney 12:11 PM
"At AT&T, iPhone continues to boom" GigaOM 8:20 AM
"AT&T's Q1: iPhone still carries the team" ZDNet 8:20 AM
"AT&T is Winning an iPhone Battle It Doesn't Even Want to Win" The Atlantic Wire 12:28 PM
"Apple's iPhone accounted for 78% of AT&T smartphone activations in Q1 2012" AppleInsider 8:44 AM
"New iPad plagued by connectivity issues: The new model hasn't been without issues from WiFi and 3G connectivity problems to screen manufacturing issues holding up supply" Macworld UK 8:31 AM
"Apple set to drop 17in MacBook Pro, says watcher" Register Hardware 7:53 AM
"Apple to scrap 17-inch MacBook Pro models?" T3 9:16 PM
"MacBook Pro 2012 could feature Liquidmetal technology" ZDNet 8:33 AM
"Intel aims for 100 Thunderbolt devices by year end" IDG News Service 12:24 PM
Granted Apple Patents
"Apple Wins Patents for iPad Smart Cover, iTunes Store & More" Patently Apple 7:59 AM
"Apple Granted Patents For Time Machine, GarageBand, The IMac" MacNews 7:59 AM
Price Trackers/Deals
"Hatchi For iPhone and iPad Is Temporarily Available For Free (Normally $0.99)" Apple Sliced 8:53 AM
"Ion Racer For iPhone and iPad Is Free Right Now (Previously $0.99)" Apple Sliced 8:53 AM
"Pocket Ninjas For iPhone and iPad Is Free Today (Was $0.99)" Apple Sliced 8:53 AM
"Nike+ FuelBand: The wearable fitness computer" ZDNet 8:33 AM
"Western Digital My Book Thunderbolt Duo Review" Macworld 8:35 AM
"Sony MDR-AS50G review: Sony's headphones don't have the very best sound quality, but it's certainly tolerable – and they're pleasingly affordable" Macworld UK 8:43 AM
"Pioneer SE-CL331-H review: They look and sound pretty basic, but they are among the cheapest of the test. There's no on-cable remote either" Macworld UK 8:43 AM
"Philips ActionFit Neckband review: The Philips ActionFit gets maximum marks for security of fit, and has the best audio quality of the group" Macworld UK 8:43 AM
"Sena's Creativo iPhone pouch has a handy cutout for answering calls" Macworld 8:52 AM
"Why An 'iPhone nano' Just Won't Fly" App Advice 9:33 AM
"A Brief, Inaccurate History of the Mythical 'iPhone Nano,' 2007-Present: Let us examine a legendary Apple product that has never arrived: and yet just won't go away." Techland 8:42 AM
"U. S. carriers to cut iPhone subsidy? Why it won't happen" ZDNet 8:34 AM
"Why sue the publishers and Apple instead of Amazon? The DoJ may not have had much choice" TeleRead 8:33 AM
"Rumor Roundup, Episode 1: 'iPhone 5' Home button and more nonsense" TUAW 8:28 PM
"Apple's Q2 results: Are Qualcomm, iPhone 5 worries overblown?" ZDNet 8:20 AM
"Here's What The iPhone 5 Will Be Like" Business Insider 2:33 PM
"3 reasons Apple won't reveal iPhone 5 in June" Computerworld 7:58 AM
"Who owns your files on Google Drive? Dropbox and Microsoft's SkyDrive allow you to retain your copyright and IP rights to the work you upload to the service, but Google Drive takes everything you own." CNET News 9:02 PM
"Google Drive is not for everyone, so try these alternatives" CNET News 12:22 PM
"Shedding light on the new Nook: Barnes & Noble is adding a brilliant light to its e-reader. Does it work? And, is it enough to goose sales?" Fortune 11:07 AM
"How to use Hadoop to overcome storage limitations" CIO 11:04 AM
"Which browser is the most popular? That depends on where you are" Houston Chronicle 11:02 AM
"ASUS Transformer Pad 300 Review" HotHardware 11:00 AM
"Silicon Valley CEOs see solid job growth this year" Oakland Tribune 10:36 AM
"Which electronic devices can't be protected from identity thieves? Find out" Los Angeles Times 10:48 AM
"Cyber crime not a big deal? Get real" InfoWorld 11:04 AM
"Russian Cyber Criminals Rake in Billions" ABCNews 10:23 AM
"Why AT&T and Verizon Are Rooting for Windows Phones" New York Times [Free/Paid Registration Required] 10:11 AM
"Why Facebook-Microsoft Patent News Isn't a 'Disaster' for Yahoo!" TheStreet 10:01 AM
"Don't Look Now, But Vidyo Is Messing Up the Videoconferencing Business" AllThingsD 9:54 AM
"A nail in Oracle's Java coffin - aka, 'That's why Google hired Timothy Bray'" ZDNet 12:02 PM
"Hello iPhoto features 'Tap to Learn.' Just tap anything you're interested in and Hello iPhoto will teach it to you. There are 220+ screenshots that capture every detail of iPhoto. Each lesson is very detailed and once you're done, you just tap the home button on the screen and you're back to the iPhoto screen. You can 'Tap to Learn' again. Hello iPhoto also teaches users how to use parts of iTunes and iPhoto for your computer. This is the beginning of our new "Hello" series. Hello iPhoto is $1.99." It's About Time 9:54 PM
"Google Drive iOS app is '98 percent done' – launching soon | 9to5Google | Beyond Good and Evil" 9 to 5 Google 8:28 PM
"'Marvel vs. Capcom 2' Hits the App Store Tonight" Touch Arcade 4:58 PM
"Sony's magnetic fluid speaker dock makes speakers interesting again" iDownload Blog 2:46 PM
"Essential iPad Apps for the Educator" The Mac Observer 12:57 PM
"Put your iPhone in a pellucid purse pocket" CNET News 12:27 PM
"Minecraft for iOS Gets New Crafting UI" iClarified 12:18 PM
"Now there's an iPhone app to pick your iPhone carrier" GigaOM 12:10 PM
"Julie Kuehl Discusses Social Media on The Tech Lounge" The Mac Observer 10:48 AM
"Fitbit Intros Aria Wi-Fi Connected Scale" The Mac Observer 9:33 AM
"Apple iPhone remains in 4th place behind Android smartphones according to latest social media monitoring report from DigitalMR" PRWeb 9:04 AM
"Curved Design, LLC Releases Second Major Release of its Mechanical Clock App 'Little Ben' for iPhone / iPad and also Debuts New Free Version 'Little Ben Lite'" PRWeb 9:04 AM
"Securely Erase Hard Drives with ProtectStar Data Shredder 3.0" PRWeb 9:04 AM
"Hyperkani Announces iOS Release of Fast-Paced Vertical Action Game, Worm Jump; More than 1.5 Million Downloads on Android and Symbian, Now Available on iOS" PRWeb 9:04 AM
"EasyAsk Introduces Quiri – A Revolutionary Voice-Enabled Natural Language Interface – for SugarCRM" PRWeb 9:04 AM
"Is Apple Running out of Juice?" PRNewswire 8:36 AM
"Onavo opens its data compression app to iPhone 4S on CDMA and 4G LTE iPads" The Next Web 8:31 AM
"Line2 for iOS now offers MMS support within its network, adds location sharing" Engadget 8:22 AM
"Apps Genius Signs Strategic Partnership with Weekend Game Studio" Business Wire 8:10 AM
"Nuance Dragon Dictation and Dragon Search Apps Now Available in Egypt" Business Wire 8:09 AM
"Onavo Extend Data Compression App for Apple iOS Released for Tens of Millions More Mobile Consumers" Business Wire 8:09 AM
"Aranez Announce the Swivel New iPad Leather Case" prMac 2:25 PM
"Whakami launched Haikimmi 1.0 - Never be undecided again" prMac 12:27 PM
"Planet Pete - New gaming concept for iPhone and iPod touch" prMac 9:05 AM
"Manhattan Introduces Stealth - A Touch Mouse for the Tablet Generation" prMac 9:05 AM
"Updated SHADOWGUN is Rolling on the New iPad" prMac 9:05 AM
"Podbay for iPhone is the fastest and simplest app for podcasts" prMac 8:05 AM
"Roman Backgammon - Go Back In Time - New App by eoz games" prMac 8:05 AM
"Shiny HD - Edit your photos in real time on your iPad - Video included" prMac 8:05 AM
"techBASIC 2.0 Brings Interactive App Programming to the iPhone and iPad" prMac 8:05 AM
"FavesDial 1.0 for iOS - Call, Text, Email, FaceTime with a Single Tap" prMac 8:05 AM
"iLuv Drawing People - Learn the basics of drawing people step by step" prMac 8:05 AM
"LexiMobile App Gives Users The Power Of Words in the Palm of Your Hand" prMac 8:05 AM
"Meeting Gold iOS App Makes Meetings Painless And Productive" prMac 8:05 AM
"Noteboom Productions Introduces Tutor for iPhoto for iOS" prMac 8:05 AM
"Limit Point LLC releases Panorama 1.0" prMac 8:05 AM
"photoAround - Plan your next trip through flickr photos" prMac 8:05 AM
"Combining a SmartPhone with a DSLR Camera" prMac 8:03 AM
"Microsoft loses round in Xbox patent fight" Financial Times [Paid Membership Required] 10:57 AM
"Xbox patent ruling favours Motorola over Microsoft" BBC 10:23 AM
"Microsoft Xbox Infringes on Motorola Patents, ITC Says" PC Magazine 11:20 AM
"Initial Patent Rulings Favor Motorola Over Microsoft" WSJ.com [Paid Membership Required] 9:42 AM
"Motorola said Seattle FRAND case could affect ITC Xbox case, initial determination is no import ban" Foss Patents 9:35 AM
"The Slow Decay Of The Microsoft Consumer" Seeking Alpha 10:01 AM
"Windows 8 Release Preview Set For June: Microsoft announcement sparks speculation that final version of Windows 8 may ship as early as October." InformationWeek 10:12 AM
"Microsoft offers summer sneak preview of Windows 8: Microsoft has announced that a second preview version of its new operating system will be available in June." BBC 10:23 AM
"Microsoft slates Windows 8 'release preview' for early June: June 5 the most likely date if company follows Windows 7's timeline" Computerworld 10:33 AM
"Microsoft System Center 2012 Focuses On Private Cloud: Microsoft expands its role in the data center with private cloud management tools, new cross-hypervisor management capabilities." InformationWeek 11:03 AM
"Microsoft SkyDrive upgrade takes aim at Dropbox: Cloud storage service SkyDrive has a new app that syncs with Windows PCs, Macs, Windows phones, and iPhones" Network World 11:05 AM
"Microsoft unveils paid SkyDrive options: 7GB of storage should be enough for nearly everyone" The Register 11:52 AM
"Microsoft Takes on Dropbox with Major SkyDrive Update" Ars Technica 11:59 AM
"Oracle confronts Google's Schmidt about Java" Reuters 12:19 PM
"Eric Schmidt talks Android, search revenue in Oracle-Google IP trial" ZDNet 12:02 PM
"Google's Schmidt set to testify in smartphone trial" Reuters 10:03 AM
"Google Challenges Oracle Copyright Claim" InformationWeek 10:13 AM
"Andy Rubin spars with Oracle attorney over old emails: Oracle says the emails to and from Rubin show that Google knew it needed a license for Java to build Android" IDG News Service 11:26 AM
"Google's Rubin spars with Oracle over definition of fragmentation" ZDNet 12:03 PM
"Google wanted Java 'partnership' with Sun: Oracle shows Google emails suggesting partnership or licence" The Register 11:52 AM
"Oracle Overhauls JD Edwards ERP Applications: Oracle adds productivity, reporting, and compliance updates to a portfolio that has already seen sweeping changes during the past year." InformationWeek 10:13 AM
"HP, Dell and Asustek said to plan launch of 15-inch ultrabooks without an ODD" DigiTimes 10:49 AM
"Dell brings 40-Gigabit Ethernet to PowerEdge blades: The company will also demonstrate its data-center network gear working with OpenFlow at Interop" IDG News Service 10:32 AM
"Intel Makes $140 Million Deal With Cray" WSJ.com [Paid Membership Required] 7:46 PM
"Cray selling key technology to Intel" Seattle Times 4:58 PM
"Moore's Law Lives Another Day: The three-dimensional transistors of Intel's new generation of chips continue the 50-year trend of faster, more tightly packed chips." Technology Review 8:00 PM
"AMD adds new mobile graphics chips: Radeon 7700, 7800, 7900" CNET Reviews 10:08 AM
"Channel Consensus: Cisco Has Turned The Corner" CRN 10:31 AM
"Internet Hall of Fame Opens... On the Web" Network World 11:24 AM
"Ubuntu Linux 12.10 'Quantal Quetzal' is born: As the final release of 'Precise Pangolin' draws near, Canonical founder Mark Shuttleworth kicks off work on its successor" PCWorld 11:49 AM
"iPad demand sends Taiwanese laptop makers looking for new strategy" Bloomberg [Free Registration Required] 9:51 AM
"Forrester: 760M Tablets In Use By 2016, Apple 'Clear Leader', Frames Also Enter The Frame" TechCrunch 11:48 AM
"Apple: Highest Returning Protected Covered Call" Seeking Alpha 9:00 AM
"Apple Earnings Estimates: Keeping It Real" Seeking Alpha 8:10 AM
"Apple: A Strong Buying Opportunity" Seeking Alpha 8:16 AM
"Apple ripe to lose some sway over S&P 500" Financial Times [Paid Membership Required] 8:55 AM
"Apple Inc Technical Analysis" AlphaTrends 8:32 AM
"Apple Boasts History of Reversing Earnings-Driven After-Hours Gains" Seeking Alpha 8:16 AM
"Apple tends to fall the day after earnings" MarketWatch 8:18 AM
"Stock futures edge higher, Apple to report results" Reuters 7:51 AM
"Why I Will Not Be Listening To Apple's Earnings Call Live" Seeking Alpha 2:27 PM
Industry News
"Japan stocks rally on weaker yen, Apple results" MarketWatch 9:21 PM
"Asia Markets: Asia stocks cheer Apple results/Asian stocks climbed solidly in early Wednesday trading, with many regional techs getting a lift from strong Apple Inc. results in the U.S., while a weaker yen helped buoy shares in Tokyo." MarketWatch 9:15 PM
"Apple, Netflix lead tech-sector losses: Tech stocks put in a mostly negative performance Tuesday, with Apple Inc. in the red in advance of its latest earnings report and Netflix Inc. slumping following negative reaction to its latest new-subscriber forecast." MarketWatch 4:04 PM
"U.S. stocks up on earnings, down on tech: Apple Inc. shares slip ahead of earnings after the closing bell" MarketWatch 4:04 PM
"U.S. Stocks Rise Amid Better-Than-Forecast Earnings" Bloomberg 10:26 AM
"Blue Chips Boosted by Strong Earnings, IBM Dividend Hike" FOXBusiness 11:01 AM
"Stocks Finish Mixed; Apple Casts Shadow" TheStreet 4:04 PM
"Stocks: Blue chips take cue from earnings" CNNMoney 4:05 PM
"Dow Closes Higher on Earnings: A handful of blue chips pushed the Dow industrials higher, but weakness in Apple's shares were a drag on the Nasdaq again." WSJ.com [Paid Membership Required] 4:05 PM
MacSurfer Headline News Staff
Publisher & Editor-in-Chief: P. Pearson
Managing & Weekday Editor: D. Mahaffy
Evening Editors: S. Siegling and
D. Mahaffy
Weekend Editors: S. Siegling , A. Spaulding and
D. Mahaffy
CEO: T. Jefferson
CFO: K. Midas
Editor Emeritus: W. Shakespeare
Writers Emeritus: W. Lewis, R. Chandler, W. Morris, G. Simenon, C. Vallejo, F. Garcia Lorca,
P. White, R. Adams, P. Valery, C. Aiken, R. Bradbury, F. Pessoa, S. Bellow, F. O'Connor
Art Directors: V. Van Gogh, C. Monet
Advertising Managers: C. Chaplin, H. Marx
Public Relations Firm: Bits & Bytes
Bomb Squad: Type 11 Errors
Chief Scientists: I. Asimov, S. Hawking
Road Crew: R. Petty, J. Cooper
Mechanics: Tom and Ray
Fishing Crew: A. Lindner, D. Stange, K. VanDam
Head Chef: Mom
Head Travel Guru: D. Pearson
Mascots: Cyberdog, Clarus the Dogcow
General Counsel: #%@*$$$$!