April Fool: Apple’s new cash cow

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Apple CEO Tim Cook evaluates April Fools’ Day suggestions from staff

Cupertino — Eager to enjoy an Apple-quality prank on April Fools’ Day? Just pull out your wallet.

Visit the online Apple Store today and you can order your own iPrank — which, for a mere $9.99, will make you the butt of an Apple-engineered joke.

The beauty of iPrank is that you’ll never know when it’s coming, or what form it will take.

It might be an email notice of foreclosure from your mortgage bank. Or an iMessage saying a loved one needs you at the hospital immediately. Or an angry “Dear John” iMessage from your girlfriend. Or an unexpectedly brutal dressing-down by Siri.

A spokesperson explains that although Apple promised to keep your information confidential, it never said it wouldn’t use that information for a good gag.

The $9.99 iPrank will be sufficient humor for most. For high-end users, Apple offers a more sophisticated iPrank Pro for only $19.99. At this level, iPrank will monkey with your professional contacts and create fake OS X system disasters at critical points in your work.

“We’ve tormented users enough for free in the past,” said CEO Tim Cook in a statement. “iPrank makes far more financial sense.”

Cook also promised that next year Apple Watch will play a major role in Apple’s April Fool activities. “Imagine the laughs when you’re in a meeting and your Apple Watch says ‘Your heart rate is 160. Get medical help now,'” says Cook. “And that’s just off the top of my head.”

iPrank will be available until 11:59 Pacific time this evening.

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