These days parents play video games along with their kids. This is a great opportunity for parents and kids to keep communication open.
This piece by John Cheese is a bit dated - 2010 is like decades ago in the world of gaming - but it's still a timeless meditation on how those of use who are gamers and parents can talk to our kids about the games we play. Read the whole thing because it's both wise and hilarious. But I like his conclusion:
Gaming, I've now realized, gives my children and I something a lot of us didn't have with our parents -- common ground. In generations past you'd have a kid sneaking rock and roll music behind the back of his fundamentalist parents, and waiting until they went to bed to read gory horror comics under the blanket with a flashlight. It's not like that for us. Because we're both gamers, we speak the same language. It can open up a whole new channel of communication, and bring you closer... if you're willing to do it.
That shared experience became a chance to talk about subjects and situations that otherwise wouldn't have come up. That's what I've learned from my Fable II debacle. We can use it as a chance to talk about, for instance, why things you do in a game would get you locked up in the real world, and how zombies aren't real, but Nazis are. We can talk about how to handle the douchebag insulting him in WoW. And we can talk about why he's not allowed to play some of the games Dad plays.
As far as I see it, it's my duty as a parent. But make no mistake, if my son rolls a tank and can't hold aggro, I'm calling him an incompetent cockhole, right to his goddamn face. It's my duty as a gamer.
My kids are too young to be gamers yet (though we did get our daughter a kid's tablet computer for Christmas this year, so she's on the right track) but I know we'll all be playing games in the future together. When I was a kid very few grownups played video games. When they did they waved their arms around dangerously as if turning their entire bodies would get Mario around the next corner better than just pressing the buttons.
So growing up, video games were very distinctly the realm of kids, and more often than not the realm of boys. Now that's all changed. Grownups of both sexes are either not growing up as fast or they've decided that games are just a pretty fun way to spend their downtime.
Personally, I think games are just remarkable creations - graphics have gotten so amazing, there are so many different titles to choose from on various consoles and PCs and tablets. Games, it turns out, are just a great way for adults to play. And adults don't play enough.
Then again, it's my holy mission in life to never quite grow up. That's not as easy as it sounds. Games help.
I took a four year hiatus from gaming when our first child was born. Too little time, too little sleep. I'm just getting back into it again and I plan on blogging my adventures in gaming as I go. So far I've played Uncharted 3, Skyrim, Batman: Arkham City, Little Big Planet, Assassin's Creed, and the new Modern Warfare (though I need to get this for the PS3.) I still haven't played the new Battlefield or Killzone 3.
By the time my kids are old enough to play with me we'll be on Modern Warfare 8 and Killzone 6 and the violence will all be much more lush and realistic because we'll be playing on next-gen consoles with Avatar-like graphics.
In the meantime I'll have to think about how to talk to them about the things they see not just in games but in movies and elsewhere. As John notes in his piece, they're going to see this stuff whether or not we let them. The important thing is that you're able to talk to them about it.
At least, that's what I think is the important thing. The only thing I know about being a parent is that we don't know anything at all. We do our best, trust to luck, and just keep swimming.
