Every year since the original Apple iPhone was introduced we tend to fall into a very predictable cycle. We spend a year anticipating the new iPhone, while simultaneously lamenting the one that we have. This all comes to a climax near the end of summer as the screams of the cracked iPhone in our hands inching closer to becoming obsolete are drowned out by leaks, rumors and speculation about the new iPhone. This year we are anticipating the iPhone 8, which if the rumors are true, could be the most revolutionary iPhone since Steve Jobs presented us with history.
Or it could be $1500 of glass and lies.
According to early rumors the Apple iPhone 8 could see a considerable price hike from the two car payments in your pocket. The speculation of a $1200 starting price with upwards of a $1500 luxury price comes from John Gruber, who correctly predicted the price point of the gold Apple Watch. While it's too early to really hitch the rumor wagon to one speculative theory, usually these rumors aren't too far off. So what does one get for $1200? Most likely a full OLED screen, joining the Samsung Galaxy Note 8 in shedding the LCD screen for a full glass phone experience.
Also see: Snapchat's Dancing Hot Dog Questions Its Existence While Snap Stock Slides Further Into The Abyss
More glass real estate on the iPhone 8 will of course help the budding secondary screen repair market as well as create a brand new look and feel for the iPhone. Additional rumors hint at two other new iPhones, cheaper and maintaining the LCD screen, but let's for a second pretend that Apple is just planning on the $1200 OLED iPhone 8 since that's much more exciting than opining about an iPhone 7S and iPhone 7S Plus.
While many Apple fans will surely fork over $1200 without hesitation, there are many users who are hoping that Apple adds something besides an OLED screen and iconic branding. After all, they need some sort of solace that they aren't just paying for the name. So I took to Facebook to find out what features iPhone users would love to see in the next iteration of the legendary paradigm shifting personal computing and communication device. I sensed a great deal of apathetic skepticism.
First, some mildly realistic expectations.
- An indestructible screen. This would help justify spending that much on a phone that you are going to drop on the pavement anyway.
- Earphone jack. Bringing back the 3.5mm jack is still being echoed in the halls of iPhone users who are yet to adapt to Air Pods. "Put the AUX Jack back in," tells me one slightly stressed area iPhone user realizing the futility of that dream. "And perhaps dinner, movie, and massage. Is that asking too much from a phone?"
- Wireless charging. This might become a reality with the iPhone 8, but inductive charging is already rumored to be delayed. Also it will be sold separately. Lame.
- Waterproof instead of water-resistant. The iPhone 8 is actually rumored to carry an IP68 rating for waterproofing and dust resistance, but we'll see if that holds true.
- True 4K video filming. Along with the rumored 14MP camera, there is a possibility that the iPhone 8 will have full 4K video capabilities as well as 3D filming.
- Separate user accounts. If you are a parent, then your kid has most likely played with your phone and screwed with your text messages. "I'd like to see user accounts that are triggered by finger print or facial scan," one area parent of way too many kids tells me while scraping toddler poop from the ceiling, "like it should know my kid and only show her 4 apps."
Regardless of those wholly reasonable requests from a new iPhone, that price point seemed to be the breaking point for a lot of users as the comments section of my Facebook post quickly went from reasonable to off-the-rails. Yet, I would do my readers a disservice by not including each of their suggestions, no matter how ridiculous.
- Slot machine app that dispenses actual money from the phone. That would have to be a pretty large phone. "For my $1200 they should figure it out," said the pizza oven king of Los Angeles.
- This nonsense. "Solar panel charging from the screen, laser guns (both for malice and pointing at white boards), treat dispenser for pets and the ability to turn gravity on and off," said my totally-not-on-drugs brother. "Oh and portal gun capabilities," he added.
- Soundwave's Mini-Cassette feature. "I'd like to see a mini pop out phone for use while jogging, or with evening attire, so I don't have to carry the whole phone all the time," tells me one area iPhone user who dresses nicer than me in the evenings.
- More nonsense. "Party strobe flash light. Rainbow colors. A bat man light that shows the image on the wall like a huge projector. A real lighter for when you can't find a lighter." Just a few ideas tossed at me from one iPhone user who uses her iPhone to type "u" instead of "you" and is most likely covered in paint.
- One more damn button. Not too much to ask. Perhaps a programmable emergency button, or even a flashlight. "When it's dark and your hands are full and you need a flashlight, a button on the side of the phone would be nice," tells me one area user who grocery shops in the dead of night in an area of town with no street lamps, house lights or moonlight.
- John Mayer. "Every time I mention John Mayer on social networks he would have to personally text me how much that tweet meant to him in order to justify $1200," said one area taco addict. It's nice to dream but your phone will never include a direct link to John Mayer.
I think you get the point. Expectations are high for the Apple iPhone 8 and the more features included, the easier a $1200 price point will be to swallow. The iPhone 8 could be a handheld clone of the latest iPad Pro, or it could be just an OLED version of the iPhone 7S with slightly better battery life (though I have some doubts there).
Will you be paying $1200 for the iPhone 8 or upgrading to the 7S? At least one hype iPhone user I talked to is ready for whatever iPhone is next, whatever it costs. "Whatever it is... I am buying," she told me. That's dedication. Blind, bleeds Air Pods and hears only Beats dedication. I guess that's worth $1200 any day of the week.
